Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's a celebration!

Dear Reader,

Well, it has been a year (and seven days) since I began this blog. As a way to thank you (the Reader), I was going to post an entry every weekday this week on news items I never commented on. In proper Another Internet Blog fashion, I did not start on Monday. So I guess I will have to post a new entry everyday from today (Tuesday) to Saturday. Even my "I am a week late on the anniversary" is a day late (I doubt you're surprised).

These entries may not be long or good, but they will be everyday!

Happy birthday AIB 1:

Junior Seau drives off cliff

Pretend this is October 18, 2010 (holy shit how are these midterm elections going to go? (also you're welcome for updating twice in one day (stop saying I don't post often enough))). Remember football great Junior Seau? Well, he drove off a cliff this morning. As you are well aware this blog has a rich history of folks driving off of cliffs. This story is slightly different than our previous friends, who refuse to stay on the top side of a fucking mountain, in that JS survived.

How did this happen? It turns out that Tiaina Baul Seau Jr. (his actual name) was just tuckered out and decided to take a quick naynay while driving. As you may have guessed, this is probably not the best idea, if you goal is to not drive off of a cliff.

Why was he so tired? There are three reasons:

1. It was 2:30 AM. That is pretty late to be joy riding where the world ends. Now, you might be wondering why he was driving so late. That brings us to...

2. He was released from police custody around then, and was heading home. You see, he wanted to just go home and sleep with his girlfriend. So, why was he in police custody?

3. He was there because he was arrested for allegedly beating his girlfriend (that is very tiring, no wonder he fell asleep).

So you see it makes perfect sense now. It a classic story. Man plays football, man retires from football, man meets girl, man beats girl, man gets arrested, man leaves police custody, man falls asleep whilst driving, man drives off cliff. I've seen it hundreds of times (I may or may not drug people at the DMV with NyQuil).

Anyway, TBSJ only suffered minor injuries, and his girlfriend didn't press charges. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Off to the DMV I go,

1 comment:

  1. happy anniversary! this week will be fantastic.