Friday, February 25, 2011

The celebration got a little out of hand

Dear Reader,

Happy birthday AIB 4:

Charlie Sheen

I am sure you have heard about Charlie Sheen's antics. Here is a list of some of the shenanigans he has gotten into recently:

He was hospitalized after a 36 hour drug fueled party at his house (very impressive, especially since I can't just live my normal life without having to sleep after 12 hours (also he did that on drugs, when the man parties, he parties (Andrew WK could learn a thing or two from Sheeny))).

At a party there was a briefcase full of cocaine (More things need to be measure by the briefcase full. "There was a briefcase full of kidneys stolen form the morgue today.").

He wrote a check for $30,000 to, porn star, Kasey Jordan for sex (That's for sex with one woman! He could have sex with like 30 whores at $1,000 a piece, or 1,000 freakish (amputees, fat, Belgian) whore at $30 a piece.)

There will be a porn based on Charlie Sheen (I think Morgan Freeman is going to dot he narration!).

That list is all based off of the same party. That is just Charlie being Charlie. Here is a basic summation of Mr. Sheen's life: womanizing, party boy named Charlie. He is also, until recently, the star of CBS's hit sitcom Two and a Half Men; where he plays a womanizing party boy named Charlie (they really are not that creative over at CBS). I hear the show is about two guys and a kid (the kid is the half man), and not about two guys who must find a way to deal with a bloody torso (and the antics they get into). Since that show is not about a bloody torso, I have never seen it. However, when Fox buys the rights for the gritty reboot, I already wrote the script for the pilot episode!

Anyway, you may have noticed (I can't get anything by you) that I wrote "until recently" about Sheen's involvement in TAAHM, that's because they have cancelled production for the rest of the season (maybe forever). This is all do to a rant Charlie went on, in a radio interview. Here are some of the word bombs he drops in the aforementioned interview:

He calls Chuck Lorre (writer/creator of 2 & 1/2 Men) a charlatan and Chaim (which is either anti Semitic or in reference to Lorre's real first name).

He is tired of pretending to be perfect and he is tired of everyone trying to analyze him. He wants the world to just "enjoy the show." (At least he is aware that as a celeb. he is only a piece of meet to us. I think he is a breath of fresh air, in a world where every famous person has to apologize and go to rehab with they fuck up.)

He is the only one on TAAHM who has any fans. If it wasn't for him they would be nothing (you really can't argue with that).

He has turned Lorre's "tin cans" into "gold" (Rumpelstiltskin's got nothing on Chuck Sheen!).

When asked if he was not going to put up with people pushing him around anymore, he said this, "It’s yeah, it’s an understatement, you know it’s, I’m sorry man I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips most of the time and this includes naps. I’m an F-18 and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground." (I wake up everyday and say that.)

Who wants to wager some money on whether or not CS will be dead by the end of the year? My money is on him eating the big one by November. Check back then to see if I'm right.

Until then I'm going to party with Charlie,

No comments:

Post a Comment