Buffet Table: A Triumphant Return

Dear Reader,

I know, right! I am back! I'm sorry. Here is my first written work in a few months. I plan on continuing to write more, but we all know how good I am at that (not very good).

So long... for now,
Scott

Buffet Table: Airports

Dear Reader,

In this week's Buffet Table I go on another adventure. This time to an airport. Friends are made. Friends are lost. I throw up. Also some people die. It's really a pretty standard story for me.

Safe travels,
Scott

Buffet Table: Halloween

Dear Reader,

As you know, Halloween is right around the corner. In this week's Buffet Table I brainstorm up some costume ideas. What will I choose? Do you even care?

Happy Hallwoeen,
Scott

P.S. The answers to the questions above: Read and find out, No

Buffet Table: Comic Con

Dear Reader,

Last weekend was the New York Comic Con. Also last weekend, I was sent on assignment to report on the Comic Con. You can read all about my misadventures on this week's Buffet Table column.

Fun times were had by some,
Scott

Buffet Table: Career Day

Dear Reader,

Ever wonder what your dream job is? I look back at various occupations I once dreamt of having, in this week's Buffet Table.

Never give up on your goals,
Scott

Buffet Table: Hunger Games

Dear Reader,

I recently read the book, The Hunger Games. It's about children killing each other. And, that's all you should need to know to get you to read it. In this week's edition of the Buffet Table, I show that I am not capable of writing a book review.

Who says the written word is dead?
Scott

Buffet Table: Random Thoughts

Dear Reader,

I share some knowledge on The Buffet Table. I hope you learn something.

Love always,
Scott

Buffet Table: Time Traveling

Dear Reader,

Last weekend, I went on a little vacation. A vacation to the goddamned past! A time was had by all. Read all about it in this week's installment of the Buffet Table.

It may have just been a renaissance fair in Tuxedo, NY,
Scott

Buffet Table: FAQ

Dear Reader,

Every good website has an FAQ section. That's why this site is lacking one. I was tasked with writing an FAQ for The Buffet Table.

Prepare to get learned,
Scott

Buffet table: A Week of Natural Disasters

Dear Reader,

As I'm sure you are aware, the east coast of the United States experienced a two prongs attack from Gaia. We had an earthquake then a hurricane. Holy shit! I explain how I handled myself during this time, in this week's edition of Buffet Table.

Nature is silly,
Scott

Buffet Table: Bachmann and Movies

Dear Reader,

In this week's edition of Buffet Table, I attempt to write about republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann. I ultimately fail this goal, and write about movie trailers. It is up for debate if I also failed in this attempt.

Either way I'm sure it will delight the masses,
Scott

Buffet Table: Crime & Punishment

Dear Reader,

Not everything I do involves celebrities and making fun of the news. Sometimes, I like to go to museums and get my culture on. Since everything I do does involve murder and crazy, my museum of choice was the National Museum of Crime & Punishment. You can read my review in this week's Buffet Table.

The more you know,
Scott

Buffet Table: Shark Week

Dear Reader,

Last week was Shark Week.  I know you are all in a frenzy to find out what I thought about it. Lucky for you, you can check out Buffet Table to see my thoughts on the great event.  It really has all you could ask for in a critique of educational television (sharks, chum, hugs and intrigue).  Like LL Cool Jay once said "deepest, bluest, my head is like a sharks fin."

Those words are more true now than ever before,
Scott

Buffet Table: Harry Potter

Dear Reader,

Did I say "Reader?" I meant "Muggle." I know you are all trying to cope with the end of the Harry Potter franchise. I've been so distraught, I haven't left my apartment in weeks. I find the best way to help me deal with such a loss, is to write an article about H. Potts (and have you tell your friends to read it). Or you could just throw rocks at Twilight fans.

Either one is fine with me,
Scott

Buffet Table: Dinosaurs

Dear Reader,

Monday is here again, that can only mean two things! 1.) You are at work, and you need something to occupy your time so you don't kill anyone. 2.) I post a new article on Buffet Table. Lucky for you the second thing, helps with the first thing. As you can tell by the clever title of this post, the article is about dinosaurs.

I fucking love dinosaurs,
Scott

Mondays just got awesome

Dear Reader,

Do you wish you could read more nonsense from me? Do you wish there was some other website I wrote for, that had other people also writing for it so you could avoid my articles? If you answered yes to one or more of those options, then today is your lucky day! Today is the launch of a new website called The Buffet Table (fun fact: if you look up the similar url website of thebuffet.tumblr.com, you get a website chock full of wang).

The Buffet Table will be updated every Monday, Wednesday, & Friday. I will be posting something on there every Monday. My first post is all about rocking your fucking face off.

Maybe this will make me update here more,
Scott